Best Friends

Isn’t it funny how the meaning of ‘best friend’ changes over time? Well, at least it has and still does for me. I’ve been very lucky that I’ve consistently had the same true ‘best friend’ for twenty plus years. I’ve also been lucky to have several who fit under the category of ‘one of my best friends’. My sister has become a ‘best friend’ as over the years our age difference no longer matters. Idaho added yet another definition of ‘best friend’ with endless hours of phone conversations.

For me, friends differ depending on the situation so I thought I would try to come up with scenarios that may help you put your friendships into perspective . This is not always a one size fits all thing, I for one am quite diversified.

I agree with the saying that a good friend will help you bury the body. There’s also the friend who will bring the bleach and the shovel for the best possible clean-up.
There are particular friends who will bail you out and pick you up from jail, no matter what you did. Others will be with you in jail….see my first point.
Some will let you vent about your other friends without judging you. They will also add ‘that bitch’ and not truly mean it when appropriate.
A few will go with you to get a tattoo and not judge you, your choices or any of your chubbiness that’s showing.
One friend will stop for dollar McDoubles even though neither of you need it. Then laugh about it when they taste like cardboard. Duh, they did last time too!
Some will still love you after you get the giggles at completely inappropriate times.
Most will laugh hysterically when you take a fall but help you up after they’re done laughing and they’ve gone to the bathroom.
One friend will say nothing when you open the champagne bottle in the car and crack the windshield.
Very few will tell you that outfit looks bad. The ones that do should be your shopping partners for life.
Some will deal with you when you’re bawling uncontrollably for no apparent reason. Even when you don’t know why you’re crying.
One friend sends you to your room when you laugh at her naughty child. It’s only fair.
Some get in the car with you for the day and say “drive that way” when you just need to get out of town for a few hours to hide from life.
A few will laugh with you while watching others make an ass out of themselves. Then turn to you and say, “Holy crap, that was us ten years ago”.
Very few will crawl into bed with you and talk until you fall asleep just because they know you need them near you.
There’s probably only one who will say “I draw the line at wiping your butt; however, I will bring a hose and a loofa sponge on a stick and we’ll figure it out”.
Keep those that know you’re really kidding when you ask if they can carry the chainsaw while you grab the garbage bags and the plastic gloves but they play along.
Some will take your ridiculous phone call in the middle of the night no matter what. Even if you’re hysterical about a break-in and they can’t understand you.
Very few will clean your house while you’re down and out and not judge because of the mess.
All of your best friends should take the good with the bad, be supportive, keep your secrets, listen to your opinion and take it into consideration (even if they don’t want to) and love you unconditionally.

I think you have friends for all reasons and seasons. Some friends are appropriate for more situations than others, there are only one or two that actually fit into most. I’ve realized that’s okay, not everyone knows how to be the same kind of friend.

Most important, they ALL should be laughers, even when it’s a not-so-great situation. May as well make the best of it.

Kris with a K

Thank goodness it’s midnight on a Sunday night and I hope most of my readers are sleeping because my computer just did some sort of kung fu, technical, sci fi, I have a virus crap and published a post that stated “I have”. For those of you who read it, hopefully you made up a good story for what came after those two words, for those of you who didn’t……whew.

Here’s what I was thinking…….

I have now started to tell more and more people about my writing, including getting cards made….you can order 1000 for twelve bucks or something so why not? I hate writing http://www.followingfunny.com on a bar napkin, a piece of scratch paper or the back of a deposit slip. It’s not professional and it’s hard to remember where it came from…..and let’s not even talk about the bad branding.

This means that a fairly close circle of friends now know that I have a hobby. Most are not surprised…..some are completely shocked.

I find it hilarious when some of my friends/acquaintances ask “will you be writing about me?” or “will you be writing about this?” (meaning what’s happening right then) I usually say no but am secretly making notes about the moment, hoping they will fit into a story somewhere. Oddly enough, there’s more that I don’t write about than I actually do write about because I don’t want to be offensive, my family might be reading it or I just cannot put it in words.

Tonight on my way home from a night away I stopped to see a friend who owns a bar. She asked me for some more cards because she had given them all out and one of the guys said, “oh, I saw those yesterday and was wondering what they were all about”. Then he started asking questions, we chatted, I gave him a card and he asked “oh, do I dare read it, have you been writing about me”. I said no, “I don’t mention names and I’m fairly general with a lot of things I write”.

After some conversation I said “oh I have to write about that” and he asked “so you won’t use my real name?” and I said “no”. He looked and me and we started laughing and he said “oh yeah, you’ll use Kris with a K”. Well, that was enough to last the entire night. It was Kris with a K from then on out. I pretended to make mental notes, I actually made notes and act like I would really tell stories about him and the chickens running around in his front yard.

Sometimes you just have to make them sweat……

Hair Cuts

I want to preface this post by saying I love the girl who cuts my hair and I think she works her tail off. Those people stand on their feet all day and listen to people complain, gossip, brag and yell at their kids who are waiting or them.

With that being said, why are haircuts such a pain in the butt? I am currently in desperate need of a haircut, so desperate in fact I wore my hair in a pony tail to pool on Thursday. I use the term pony tail very loosely as you can see.

It looks like 10 pieces of straw in the binder but I just couldn’t help it. One teammate took the picture to send it to our hairdresser. The text said “911 we have an emergency”. I believe the response was “O M G”.

I happened to see my hairdresser last night and she said “I got the picture of your pony tail”. She said it with that look of “what the hell were you thinking?” And then said “it’s getting nice and long, it just needs some shaping”. Shaping? Shaping? I could use a #2 attachment on a razor right now and it would make me feel much better. We laughed about it and decided I need to make an appointment.

It’s a habit for me to completely put off scheduling a hair cut, you would think I was having teeth pulled or something. Then suddenly I can’t stand it anymore and think that she should be able to get me in at the last minute and I know that cannot happen. I shouldn’t do that as there have been times I have then walked in to someone else which rarely turns out well.

One of our friends received a haircut from a random last week and ended up with quite the cut. May have been her first day. I’ll let you judge.

I’m wondering if one of her legs was severely shorter than the other if she thought that was straight. The best part of this story is he went back to the same person to have it fixed. Haha. That kills me. I believe everyone deserves a second chance but he didn’t have much hair to spare on a second chance here. He was a great sport about it and we all had a great laugh. It was the same night I was wearing my ‘pony tail’ so we had a lot to laugh about.