Sleepless in Wisconsin V

Here we go again, after a couple of hours of sleep I’m sitting on the couch and have been attempting to watch TV for over an hour.   Tonight I’m not only wide awake but I’m restless which isn’t good.  I’m thankful at this moment the grocery store isn’t open or I would be there with my list, coupons, bad hair and inappropriate outfit.  Yes, I could go to Wal-Mart but that would be tragic, completely tragic, as I would end up in the next people of Wal-Mart email.  Some of those people already hit too close to home, I don’t actually need to be one of them.

I watched college football a good portion of the day today so Sports Center is out of the question and I’m sure I don’t have to reiterate why that is.  My channel surfing went well beyond my normal limits and I’m watching Comedy Central.  Not that I don’t ever watch Comedy Central, it just happens to be in the channels I rarely get to and tend to forget about.  I’m enamored by the commercials on this station.

The commercials that are on at 3:30 in the morning are kind of crazy.  Did you know that Jimmy Johnson does a commercial for Extenze?  Seriously Jimmy, Extenze?  I don’t even know what to say about that.  Are you really that hard up for money?  I bet one of my next posts will be another one about search engine terms, some poor guy trying to find out how to enhance his sex life is going to find this blog because I’m flabbergasted by Jimmy Johnson.  Sorry buddy.

Along with Jimmy there are tons of commercials for a chat line of some sort.  Apparently this isn’t a date line, it’s a phone call with benefits.  And the commercials aren’t for the same one, there’s several numbers, I wonder if it’s really the same people answering all of those numbers.  They show these sexy men and women on the commercials and you know darn well the people actually answering the phones do not look like that.  There’s a good chance they’re toothless home bodies that haven’t showered in three days.  Sexy huh?

There’s two other commercials that are completely disturbing to me this morning.  One is for something called Forever Lazy which seems to be one piece pajamas.  Ok people, I understand we might want these; however, the commercial shows people running through a field, having drinks with the neighbors and having dinner with the family.  What?  You couldn’t put actual clothes on to do those things?  I really think they could have stopped with the scenario of watching movies at home and being snuggled up on the couch because I’m pretty sure that’s the only place anyone is going to wear this thing.

The second commercial is for something called Good Vibrations or something like that.  This is a personal item for women.  Ok, fine.  The commercial shows a woman getting this in the mail and talking to her neighbor about it.  This is not something I’d be sharing with my neighbor, let alone standing on the street opening the package for the world to see.  Again, can’t we think of better scenarios to portray this product?  No matter how good this product is I’m most likely not going to be talking about it and showing it to my neighbor.

I’m afraid if I keep watching there will be more so I better attempt to get some sleep.  It’s after 4:00 AM and people are actually getting up for the day.  Maybe I’ll read and stay up until the grocery store at 6:00.  Hmmmm.