The Dog

I’m 46 years old.  I’m not a mom.  I had outdoor dogs during my childhood but never a puppy or an indoor dog.  So here I am, a new mom of the cutest pitbull puppy you’ve ever seen.

Meet Doc.  He was born mid December 2015 and he looked like this the day we got him.  I fell in love.  I am now that lady.  You know the one.  The lady that  posts pictures of her puppy on Facebook every day.

puppydoc

Not only did I take the plunge, with assurance from the manfriend that it would be awesome, we added another puppy two and a half months later.  Her name is Kimber.  We wanted to name her Kate (Doc Holliday and Big Nose Kate) but she knew her name so well we just couldn’t change it.  Doc still doesn’t know his name, or at least pretends not to so she’s a step ahead of him there…or behind, depending on how you look at it.

docandkimber2

Prior to Kimber coming to live with us Doc had a few episodes of Mommy wanting to give him away.  One such episode happened one night when we came home from pool league very late.  Here was my Facebook post about it:

In honor of National Puppy Day…..

Well, it was a long night at our house. The menace we call a puppy figured out how to get out of his kennel while we were at pool. You know that feeling when you walk in and something just isn’t right? Oh yeah, immediately. After Grandma let him out he had about 2 1/2 hours to have a party….if I didn’t know better, from the looks of things he invited friends.

4 piles of poop placed strategically….one in each room he had access to
2 pee spots
1 badly damaged PS3 remote – he ate all the rubber pieces off of it and chewed up the ends
1 chewed up water glass
1 completely empty bowl of food
1 ruined Nike flip flop
2 drooled in and slightly chewed up tennis shoes
Several missing hair ties

Needless to say our little party animal has not been feeling well since. I’m sure he’s having some trouble digesting the rubber, the material, the hair ties and the extra dog food.

He’s a whining puddle of mush today and it’s very confusing to be so mad and feel bad for him at the same time. As I left the house daddy was telling him ” you had the hiccups all night because you were naughty and now you have the poops and you will be spending most of the day outside”. Thank goodness I had to go to work.

He has been better about things since Kimber came along but they’re still puppies.

I still cannot believe how much I say things I never thought I would have to say.  I find myself following them around and having random conversations, scolding, laughing or lecturing them.  Here are a few of my repeated phrases:

  • Don’t eat that.
  • Stop digging in that.
  • What’s in your mouth?
  • Get that out of your mouth!
  • Show me, open your mouth!
  • Stop right there Mr.!
  • I said stop!
  • Well  you don’t listen very good do you?
  • Did you poop?
  • Are you having trouble pooping?
  • No wonder it hurts to poop, you shouldn’t have eaten that aluminum can?
  • Go potty for mommy.
  • Do you need to go potty again, it’s bedtime.
  • Which one of you farted?
  • Oh come on!  If you would stop eating everything under the sun you wouldn’t smell like that.
  • Where are you, you’re way too quiet?!!

Now that Doc is old enough I’m going to have him start writing stories from his point of view, it may be much more interesting than mine.

 

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One thought on “The Dog

  1. It’s called “garbage gut” having learned that term from our vet, after calling in hysterics. Just so you know, a turkey baster works well for forcing them to drink peroxide, which makes them throw up.
    I’ll save the WORST dumpster diving Gertie has ever done for another time.
    Good luck!

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