Friday the 13th

I cannot imagine how many bloggers will write about Friday the 13th and all the glory it brings.  I will keep mine short and sweet.

Having a Friday the 13th reminds me of when I bartended regularly years ago.  The bar manager and I would play paper rock scissors to see who had to bartend when one of three things happened.

1.  The first of the month.  Holy welfare checks batman.  Welfare checks brought out the drinkers and the gamblers like a swarm of locusts.  These are people who drink a 40 ouncer out of a paper bag a majority of the month but on check day they live high on the hog and go to the bars.  They don’t necessarily get dressed up, shower or brush their tooth but they head out to the bars to party like it’s 1999.

2.  Full moon.  I don’t believe in werewolves or vampires but I do believe in the nutjobs that venture out when there’s a full moon.  I also believe that a full moon pushes people over the edge who are walking that bat shit crazy line anyway.  Add alcohol to this group and you have yourself a party fit for an insane asylum and as a bartender you’re the group therapy leader.  No. Thank. You.  When I would work on a full moon night I would feel like Dr. Weitzman from the movie The Dream Team, I was afraid that at any moment I could end up unconscious and the patients would run wild.

3.  Friday the 13th.  You would think there wouldn’t be much difference between a full moon and Friday the 13th but that’s not the case.  A full moon brings out the real nutjobs who don’t realize they’re like that, Friday the 13th brings out the wannabe nutjobs.  This group of people are exaggerated and obnoxious.  This is the most irritating of the three groups because they use this date to act like absolute jackasses.

Be careful out there today and keep in mind the other two times of the month I mentioned.


3 thoughts on “Friday the 13th

  1. Oh Dear Lord!!! I just attempted read this story out loud to my co-workers except I couldn’t stop laughing. Damn that was hilarious.

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