Winter is Still Here

It’s April 28th and winter is still here.  There’s definitely some kinky stuff going on over at Old Man Winter’s RV.  I was on my way to have a little chat with him and Mother Nature but he was running around the yard in leather chaps and Mother Nature was running after him with a whip and what looked like a can of motor oil.  I turned around and went home.  It seems they’re never going to move along.  Who would have thought their choice of a permanent home was Wisconsin?  They’re livin’ on beer, cheese and love and we can’t do anything about it.

We’ve had two days of rain, snow, rain, sleet, rain and ice.  I worked yesterday and spent the night where I had been working because there was no sense in taking my life in my hands by going out on the sheet of ice they call roads around here.  All day today we listened to the 40 to 60 mph winds and rain hit the window.  Would have been a great day to snuggle on the couch, do nothing, watch a few movies and eat until we couldn’t move but work had to happen and life goes on even if the weather stinks.

As I look at not only my own Facebook posts but the posts of others I realize we’re all doing a lot of sulking and complaining about the weather.  The worst thing is we can’t do anything about it!!  I’ve decided I’m going to try to concentrate on things I can do something about and stop being negative about the weather because that carries over into other things.  So here’s my plan for the next week, the next month, the next three months……because it is going to be a chilly summer here in the Northland.

  1. I’m going to rock this chair tonight and watch The Voice like nobody’s business and I’m going to be happy about it.  Then I’m going to watch Revenge from last night.
  2. I’m going to cook.  When it’s nice outside I don’t feel like cooking or I grill everything so I’m going to use the oven.  Tonight I made stuffed chicken breasts and baby red potatoes.  I think enchiladas are on the docket for one night this week as well.  Along with cooking the things I’m comfortable with I’m going to try new things.
  3. I’m going to take this chance at not being able to go outside to get some work done for not only my day job but for Following Funny as well.  I have a ‘to do’ list a mile long for both and I really could use to get as caught up as possible.
  4. I’m going to keep my house in order.  Get the basement organized and painted and get rid of some things that are cluttering the place up.  I don’t want another critter to make its way to my basement to cause me issues.
  5. I’m going to organize my notebooks of stories, chicken scratches, notes and funny findings and decide exactly what to do with them.  I have all this funny stuff hidden everywhere, including my head and no plan on what to do with it.  Watch out.
  6. I’m going to travel south to warmer weather.  By south I mean anywhere from 15 to 500 miles south.  When it’s cold here, it’s warmer within about 15 minutes so my goal is to go find the warmth of the sun.   My friends who live south of me just panicked as they realized I may be visiting more than usual this summer.  Haha, get your guest rooms ready!

In other words, I’m going to stop bitching, get my shit together and make the most of something I have no control over.

 

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How to Find the Cute Single Guys

After years and years of research I have finally figured out one of the most perplexing questions for single women.  Where to find the nice looking, single guy who’s the right age and who has potential to be long-term.

As most of you know from past stories I can meet people anywhere, including sitting next to him on a plane.  Although that only lasted a couple of years it was a great experience and he’s a good guy, that relationship taught me a lot about myself.

The real answer to the question Where do you meet a hot eligible man, is actually ANYWHERE.  My answer to that question is a little different these days.

I think the answer is this:  You can find a cute eligible man by leaving the house when you look like hell, don’t feel good and don’t much care.  I believe I have probably missed out on a few good men because every time I go out of the house when I really shouldn’t I see lots of potential.

It’s almost like there’s a Batman symbol out there when a single woman leaves the house looking like she’s been drug through the mud and this symbol tells the eligible guys to go to Walgreen’s, Wal-Mart, Target or wherever it is she’s headed.

It happened to me today.  Pneumonia is visiting me again and I am currently the poster child for a “Go to the Doctor” public service announcement.  I did not go to work today, I worked at home.  I did not get out of my pajamas today, I couldn’t be bothered.  I didn’t put my contacts in because it seemed to be too much work.  I did take a shower at one point though thinking it would make me feel better……it didn’t.

Anyway, around 6:30 I decided if I was going to make it through The Voice and get some sleep for tomorrow’s 8:30 AM meeting I needed to pick up some cough drops and something to knock me out.  The task was daunting and I couldn’t be bothered.  I left the house in my pajama top, sans bra, capri yoga pants with holes in the rear seam, running shoes with no socks, glasses and a zip up fleece.  It was bad, very bad.

When I arrived at Walgreen’s there they were, they had followed the Bat Signal and there they were.  One held the door for me.  For no other reason then he felt sorry for me I’m sure and wanted to get a closer look at this complete mess on two feet.  The rest of them were inside milling around, pretending to shop.   Needless to say they all scattered and retreated once they got a good look at me.  Another opportunity missed probably.

The best part was I ran into a friend and his question to me was “Rough weekend?”  I said “Pneumonia” and skeedaddled as fast as possible.  I doubt he believed me.  He also probably called his wife on the way home and said “Have you heard from Peg lately, we should probably check on her, I think she’s having issues.”

I should really start to care or I’m going to be the crazy cat lady that lives at the end of the block.  The kids will be double dog daring each other to go trick or treating at my house.  And I don’t even like cats!!

Here’s to finding the hot guys when all you are is a hot mess.

Door Ajar

One of the smartest things I’ve ever done in my life is surround myself with funny people.  Although I’m usually reminded of it daily, sometimes I’m REALLY reminded of it.  This morning was one of those times.

On my way to work I got a phone call from a college friend, we’ll call him Todd.  Panic crept through me…he never calls in the morning, something must be wrong…..well, nothing was wrong…..in fact, everything was right.

Me:  “Hello”.

Todd:  “I had to call someone and you’re it”, followed by uncontrollable laughter.

I immediately started to giggle.  Not only because his laugh is contagious but because if he’s laughing that hard it had to be good.  I will do my best to relay the story.

Todd took the day off from work today to take care of a bunch of things, oil change, dentist, etc.  You know, the things that are almost impossible to get done after our own work hours.  The first thing on his list was an oil change and check up for his truck at the local garage.

He waited patiently for about 30 minutes while the mechanic did his thing.  The mechanic finally came in and asked if the Check Engine light had been causing problems.  According to Todd the light hadn’t been on and he hadn’t been experiencing any trouble with it.  The mechanic nodded and walked back in the garage.  After a few minutes Todd thought he’d check on the situation so went to see what was happening.

The mechanic was looking at his diagnostic and said “Well, I got the Check Engine light figured out, now the Door Ajar light won’t go off.”  At this point of the story Todd said “Peg, I immediately looked at the mechanic, then over to the open door of the truck, then back at the mechanic and my eyes started tearing up from holding back my laughter.  I’m no genius but I would think the Door Ajar light was on because the door was actually ajar.”   Those two sentences of his story took a few minutes because we were both laughing and he was telling me in detail how he didn’t want to insult the mechanic by outright laughing at him and how hard it was to hold it all together.

Todd said he  kept it together the best he could for about five minutes while the mechanic hemmed and hawed while attempting to fix the Door Ajar light.  Todd said he kept looking at the mechanic and the open door of the truck wondering if he was the one that was missing something.  Finally he couldn’t take it anymore and said to the mechanic “Perhaps the light is on because the door is open”.  At this point the mechanic looked at Todd, looked at the door, got in the truck and shut the door.  The mechanic sat in the truck for a few minutes, got out and said the truck was finished.

Apparently the mechanic never said anything about the “mishap” and sent Todd on his way.  Through tears and giggles he told me that when he got to the garage the mechanic was playing solitaire on his computer after he said he could “squeeze him in” for an appointment on the phone yesterday.  We both howled and cried.  Todd thought he should have been given a discount because he actually fixed the Door Ajar light of the blunder but no such luck.  It was the best phone call I’ve had in a long time.

I got the privilege of telling the story to coworkers shortly after the phone call which helped get everyone’s day jump started.

Todd ended our conversation by saying he couldn’t post it on Facebook because it’s a small town but that I needed to write a story about it.  I felt obligated to follow his wishes.  Here’s to mistakes similar to that we all make and those who get entertainment out of them.