Speedos

There is a time and a place for men’s speedos.  The time is during vacations and the place is a beach in the tropics.  Now, on your back deck sun tanning could be a possible place for one as well but it needs to be discreet, no need to be roaming around the yard flaunting your banana hammock.

Friday a coworker and I spotted a speedo mowing his lawn.  It was crazy, right there staring at us as we drove by.  The coworker grabbed his phone and not so discreetly took a picture of him.  The man was old, and I mean old.  White hair, white beard and sagging skin that has seen so much sun it looked like a piece of worn shoe leather.   The speedo was green and tight.  Nothing left to the imagination.  It was a ridiculous sight really.

The disturbing part of this is he lives across the street from an elementary school.  I mean, isn’t that against some law?  I hope he’s not doing that while school is in session, although there were kids on the playground the day we spotted him.  I could only imagine mothers telling there children to look away as they stared at him.   I know some neighbors of his and she said she was thinking about calling the police, I didn’t think that was such a great idea as I’m pretty sure the police wouldn’t do anything about.  Can you imagine that 911 call?

Immediately after we spotted him I called a friend of mine and said “um, your boyfriend is out mowing his lawn in a speedo, I think you should tell him to stop doing that, he’s scaring the children on the playground”.  She replied with “We broke up last week, are you across from my son’s school?  I know exactly who you’re talking about! Is he wearing the powder blue one today?”  I said “yes, that’s where I’m at and no, he has a green one on today. ”  She started laughing and said, “Oh he must have bought a three pack, I’ve seen him in powder blue and red”.  Seems others have noticed him as well.

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