Blue Jeans

I’m not sure about you but blue jeans are a pain in my rear (intended).  I would imagine we all have trouble finding jeans that fit comfortably and look good.  Tall, short, fat, skinny, I think it’s tough to find that REALLY great feeling pair of jeans.  In my experience when you do find them you have to take out a mortgage to actually purchase a pair.  Most jeans I’ve even slightly liked lately are $100, well, for $100 they should be massaging my backside, doing my dishes and should make me look about 50 pounds lighter.  They should also not cause a muffin top (mine is more like the whole pan of muffins) or make my underwear ride up into the unknown.   I am usually at a loss and just have to buy something that fits and looks half decent.

I’ve mentioned excessive butt crack in several previous posts.  It happened again at pool this week, one player showed the crack itself and one player showed the pink lace thong she was wearing.  Not sure which was worse.  Perhaps the maker of blue jeans will find a happy medium between the top of the crack and the belly button as I do understand not wanting to wear jeans like we did in the 80s that you could almost wear as a bra too.

One other thing I’m confused about is the extra little pocket in the front of jeans.

jeans1Seriously, there’s even a button on this super secret pocket and it maybe holds two dimes and a nickle.  With not a payphone in sight, I’m not sure it’s a bonus to have this.  I try to keep as little as possible in my pockets anyway, well, actually there’s really no room left in my jeans to put anything in my pockets, so what am I going to do with that one?  Perhaps it’s for looks, which doesn’t pertain to me either because I haven’t been able to tuck a shirt into a pair of jeans since sometime in the 1994.  Which means there is no one that’s seeing that pocket anyway……and if they are…..I’m fairly certain they don’t care about that pocket.

jeans2Then there’s those pants with worthless pockets all around.  Why even bother with the pocket.  In the picture above the super secret pocket is damn near as big as the actual pocket so none of them fit anything remotely useful in them.  My cell phone is too big for the regular pocket so that idea went to the wayside pretty suddenly.  I feel as though this pair would have been better off with fake pockets sewn in, they would have been just as useful.

Happy jean shopping.  I hope you have better luck than I do.