Funny Blog Search IV

I haven’t looked into the nitty-gritty of my stats lately because I’ve been a bit preoccupied with getting my book done. I took some time today to see what’s been happening here and it’s interesting as always.  I looked at the report back to the beginning of the year.  What I found astounds me.  Here’s why:

Over 400 searches were people wondering about making the workday go faster.  How sad is that?  People are so unhappy and/or bored at their jobs they want to make it go faster.  I may have to start publishing some actual ideas since my post about making the workday go faster was pretty sarcastic and only gave ideas that would probably get people fired in the long run.  It’s funny how we take things for granted, especially our jobs.  I still think the best way not to be bored at your job is to actually do your job and do it well.  If you’re bored ask what can be done to better the company.  Don’t make things up to do and don’t do unnecessary things, be a part of the solution, not a part of the problem.  Simple I know but effective.

Almost 300 searches were related to camel toes.   Oh what an odd world we live in that people are actually searching for that.  Must be a fairly popular fetish (I just threw up in my mouth a little).  There were even searches for ‘ugly camel toe’, ummmm, I guess I’m in the camp that all camel toes are ugly so that search seems rather redundant to me.  A few searches asked ‘what is a camel toe?’, my post surely didn’t answer that question, sorry about that.  All I can seem to do about this one is shake my head.

Seven searches for ‘huge monkeys’ and two searches for ‘huge bugs’.  Really?  They found my blog?  I am 100% positive these poor souls did not find what they were looking for, I think I only have one actual post that even mentions monkeys and zero that mention bugs….well, other than this one now.

Six searches for ‘front door of a freight train’.  I have no clue why it is that my blog is found under this search but I know that I did not supply what they were looking for.  I didn’t realize people were interested in the front door of freight trains or that they even had a front door!

Another search worth mentioning is ‘hair cuts for my pony’.  I can’t even imagine how many pages of Google these people had to look through to find the one that was pointed to my page.  I would imagine my story about hair cuts is the one that showed up but they certainly found no use in that story.

Last and certainly not least there are searches for pot pies.  Yes, I know, it’s a terrible world where people would actually do an online search for pot pies.  I hope that my post on pot pies made them think twice about purchasing any, I’m attempting to save the world one pot pie at a time.  Don’t do it people, don’t do it.  There are much better things to eat out there, like liver and onions, head cheese or blood soup.

Can’t wait to see what the next few months bring!  As usual it will only get more and more strange.


Funny Blog Search III

Time to share what I’ve found under my blog searches category lately.

  • funny dog on heat pictures– I’m not sure what a ‘dog on heat’ is but it sounds like a dog on crack to me, hope they found the pictures they were looking for, doubt they found them here.
  • naked women put on lotion– This poor sap found my site, how sad for them, I’m pretty sure I didn’t provide what they were really looking for.
  • dryer bar all over my pillows – Well, this would suck if the dryer bar got stuck on someone’s pillow, I didn’t give any good advice for this issue, sorry.
  • monkeys – The fact my site comes up when someone searched for ‘monkeys’ is very sad, I think I once posted one picture of monkeys, hope they found it.
  • what are funny things that make you sleepless? – I’m so glad I’m not alone in this world wondering what makes me sleepless.
  • are talking to myself is a disease – This poor soul needs help in several areas it seems.  Perhaps they should tell themselves to take some English classes or be more careful when typing in searches.

We’ll see what the next group of searches bring, I can’t wait to share them with you.  Looking through them certainly makes my day and makes me feel okay about the things I search for online!

1000 Awesome Things

If you haven’t checked out the blog 1000 Awesome Things, please do.  I admire his outlook on life, what a great way to get through every day…..pick out the awesome things!  Add humor and your days will be nothing short of spectacular.

I laughed hysterically when I saw #44 which is Your First Record, Tape or CD.  Mine was Poison, Look What The Cat Dragged In cassette tape.  I still remember what it looked like and how excited I was to get it home to play it in my Sony dual cassette and record player.  Oh yeah, I know, super high-class.

I still love that music and have been to see Brett Michaels 3 times.  Yes, I said 3 times.  Such a great place for people watching.

I better stop typing before I tell you something really embarrassing.


Funny Blog Search II

When I wrote my original post about a funny blog search I thought they wouldn’t get much stranger; however, I think they have.  Here’s the latest “damn search engines never give me what I want” moment:

  • bunny sex with monkey

This term has been searched for more than once, I hope it was by the same person because more than one searching for that term would be scary.  Once again, I imagine I’m disappointing those people when they click on my blog.

Here’s to finding what you’re looking for when you search.

Funny Blog Search

This blogging thing is interesting.  There’s so much I have yet to learn not only about writing but about blogging itself.

I was looking at my site stats today and noticed there is an area called Search Terms.  Obviously this is what someone searched for when they found my page.  I read through that list tonight and pretty much wet my pants.  Giggled for a good 20 minutes before I could even share the one that REALLY caught my eye. 

The search term:  naked mud riding parties

Now, I’m no prude but I have no idea what the hell that is.  I know what mud wrestling is but the word riding brings a whole new element.  Do you bring your own saddle?  Enough of that, I better not speculate on what it might be or why someone was searching for it, I’ve also resisted any temptation to search for that myself because I really don’t want to know, not tonight anyway.  It might be disturbing and I’m here by myself.

I wonder how disappointed that person was when they clicked on my blog?  Is that one of those “damn search engines never give me what I want moments”?  Perhaps my blog ruined a ‘special moment’ they were trying to have, sorry buddy. 

I’m certainly going to watch the search terms closer now, maybe there’s an untapped market of readership out there I have no idea about!!