Sleepless in Wisconsin VI


It’s 3:30 AM and I’ve been up for an hour.  This has been the story of my life since Idaho left.  I’m certainly not blaming him but I have seen 4:00 AM for a week and I don’t like it one bit.  Today will be no different.

I’m mad and frustrated so that doesn’t help the situation.  My cold from hell doesn’t seem to be gone either, this morning I have an ear ache and I constantly feel like I’m going to sneeze.  I hate everything right now…….except for tennis.

That’s right, I said tennis.  The Australian Open is on live at this time of the morning so it has fast become my favorite early AM show.  Why is it that I can turn on a tennis match on a Sunday afternoon and nap like it’s nobody’s business but at 2:30 AM it’s like an adrenaline rush for me?  If I still owned a tennis racket and knew where a tennis court actually was, I would probably be out there playing right now.  Of course I would be in winter boots and a parka but I’d be given it a go.  Mind you, I haven’t played tennis in at least 20 years.

Do you ever do that?  Watch a sport and think ‘I can do that, no problem’.  I’ve caught myself several times this morning talking to the players, as if I’m some sort of an expert.  I should probably tell you at this point that tennis was never my sport, I’ve played quite a bit but was never more than a novice.  But right now, in my mind, I could do this seemingly simple game quite easily.  Ya right.

I do this with golf as well.  My clubs ride around in my trunk most of the summer and rarely get used but I watch a tournament on TV and I’m suddenly a pro.  I have perfected my swing, adjusted my attitude and become a lover of my woods…..until I actually get on the course.  As we all know, my only golf outing last summer resulted in a groin pull because I slipped in the porta potty.

I’ve watched some pretty good matches in the last 90 minutes but right now I have to conclude my little rant as I have to find Mary Jo Fernandez’ email address because she is wearing a terrible shirt.  Yup, seems I’m the fashion police at this time of the morning as well.  My contribution to society never ends.  🙂