Sleepless in Wisconsin XIV

I really have no idea if that’s the roman numeral for 14 or not but tonight I don’t care.  I am so tired of this not sleeping thing I could throw up.  I’ve had another run of bad sleeping the last couple of weeks but have been trying to ignore it……as we already know, that doesn’t work.

For a few days I had heartburn to the point of being on the verge of throwing up which I know was part of the problem.  I would imagine some of you are thinking…..’hey chubby, stop eating’, but heartburn has never been a problem for me.  I can eat the rear end out of a rhino and things are fine…..normally.  That’s why this has been so upsetting to me, although I haven’t been eating rhino lately I haven’t been eating much of anything because of the burn.

I visited the chiropractor today for other issues and when he had me lay down on the torture table he asked “suffering from heartburn are ya?” without even touching me.  He freaks me out like that now and then.  When I told him I did he took his index finger, poked me near my left shoulder blade and said “I bet it hurts right here”.  Pretty sure my scream and jerk were enough of an answer.  He adjusted me and miraculously I haven’t had heartburn since.  I forget about him for things like that and wish I didn’t because the 8 rolls of tums sure didn’t help.

While I’m ranting I may as well share that not only am I struggling with heartburn, I feel as though I have been drug behind a snowplow by my arms.  A friend and I got ourselves into a cleaning project that was more than we could have imagined.  At this very moment I would rather be kidnapped by an unknown Amazon tribe and tortured for days than ever wash walls again.  I was already suffering from some unknown issue with my elbows (thus the chiropractor and the not sleeping tonight) and I’m pretty certain the cleaning made it worse.  The chiro isn’t very impressed with me but he’s used to it.

The person we’re doing the cleaning for also has a sleeping problem so we’ve been swapping stories of insomnia.  The difference between us is he has money so infomercials are actually useful to him.   I noticed several purchases from crappy late night TV in his apartment.  I thought about leaving a note for him with the things I think I could use but knowing him he’d actually purchase them for me.

Tonight I’m watching a Finding Bigfoot marathon instead of infomercials and I can’t decide which is actually worse.  The episode on now is in Idaho.  Tomorrow when I speak to Idaho (the guy) I will have to see if he’s interested in doing a little squatch hunting the next time I’m there.  Maybe we’ll film our adventure and push these four yayhoos from the show and take over.  I bet we could be entertaining.  To end the show they said “Idaho is part of the pathway from the Rockies to Canada for the sasquatch”.  The squatch are migrating north to Canada??  What does Canada have to offer that we don’t?  How do we know this for sure?  Maybe the Canadians aren’t actually trying to find bigfoot so they’re going there to be left alone………interesting concept.  Maybe our show could center around keeping the squatch here in the states.

If there was anything else on I would turn the channel but there’s not.   What the hell do I pay $85 a month for if I can’t watch anything better than this in the middle of the night?  I’ll call the cable company tomorrow and ask them…..wait…..no, I won’t. I’m pretty sure they won the “Worst Customer Service on the Planet” award last month.

Those were some super random writings tonight, I think it’s time to find something else to do like the dishes or laundry or something.   I’m not even making much sense to myself……and that’s bad.