What Makes You Laugh II

I shared a few things that make me laugh in an earlier post and received good responses so I’ve been gathering more things that are among my favorites.

Story of my life, always a day late and a dollar short.

I received this picture for Valentine’s Day last year from a friend.  Her Mom’s name is Peggy and so is mine.  We are the only two Peggy’s she knows so we are the two that received this email.  I laughed uncontrollably all day long.  Not only because of the name but because of the sweet, old time picture.   This will go down in history as my favorite Valentine’s Day card.

8PMC-planes-trains-and-automobiles-movie-melted-speedometer

One comment from my last post was about Planes, Trains and Automobiles.  There are so many good scenes in that movie but this is one of my favorites.  It’s posted in two parts. Such a great scene, sure to make me laugh every time I see it…..along with several other parts of the movie.  What a classic.

Happy laughing.

Sleepless in Wisconsin VI

Urgh.

It’s 3:30 AM and I’ve been up for an hour.  This has been the story of my life since Idaho left.  I’m certainly not blaming him but I have seen 4:00 AM for a week and I don’t like it one bit.  Today will be no different.

I’m mad and frustrated so that doesn’t help the situation.  My cold from hell doesn’t seem to be gone either, this morning I have an ear ache and I constantly feel like I’m going to sneeze.  I hate everything right now…….except for tennis.

That’s right, I said tennis.  The Australian Open is on live at this time of the morning so it has fast become my favorite early AM show.  Why is it that I can turn on a tennis match on a Sunday afternoon and nap like it’s nobody’s business but at 2:30 AM it’s like an adrenaline rush for me?  If I still owned a tennis racket and knew where a tennis court actually was, I would probably be out there playing right now.  Of course I would be in winter boots and a parka but I’d be given it a go.  Mind you, I haven’t played tennis in at least 20 years.

Do you ever do that?  Watch a sport and think ‘I can do that, no problem’.  I’ve caught myself several times this morning talking to the players, as if I’m some sort of an expert.  I should probably tell you at this point that tennis was never my sport, I’ve played quite a bit but was never more than a novice.  But right now, in my mind, I could do this seemingly simple game quite easily.  Ya right.

I do this with golf as well.  My clubs ride around in my trunk most of the summer and rarely get used but I watch a tournament on TV and I’m suddenly a pro.  I have perfected my swing, adjusted my attitude and become a lover of my woods…..until I actually get on the course.  As we all know, my only golf outing last summer resulted in a groin pull because I slipped in the porta potty.

I’ve watched some pretty good matches in the last 90 minutes but right now I have to conclude my little rant as I have to find Mary Jo Fernandez’ email address because she is wearing a terrible shirt.  Yup, seems I’m the fashion police at this time of the morning as well.  My contribution to society never ends.  🙂

Accumulation of Stuff

How does it happen?  How does one accumulate so much crap?

I’ve lived at my current residence for only three years.  I am very conscious of what I save and how much I save…..or at least I thought I was.   Tonight I realized I’m apparently not as conscious as I think I am.  I was putting away my Christmas tree tonight (yes, I know, it’s the 16th, give me a break, I’ve been busy) and as I was bringing the stuff back downstairs, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

It’s the basement I go in every day, it’s the basement I do laundry in and it’s the basement I thought I had a critter in.  Why it hit me tonight?  I have no idea.  I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked around and said out loud “where did all this $*&# come from?”.   As I inventoried the contents, here’s what I found that was mine:

  • Two chairs I was going to recover…….15 years ago.
  • Ten bins with different holiday stuff…..who needs that much, especially when I barely decorate?
  • A 5 ft. church bench, yes, I said church bench.  I’m going to refinish it………at some point.
  • A piano bench that I’m going to refinish…..at some point.
  • A trunk I’m going to refinish…..at some point.
  • A half refinished dresser I will finish………at some point.  I better figure out when “at some point” is.
  • Two cots….no mattresses.  WTF?  How did I manage to accumulate those?
  • A TV stand I no longer need or want.
  • A shelf I no longer need or want.
  • Three bins of stuff from my youth…teddy bears, toys, dolls, urgh…what am I going to do with those besides haul them around?
  • 12 purses.  Holy hell did I spend too much time in Chinatown in NYC over the years.
  • 17 suitcases, beach bags, duffel bags and softball bags.  I’m really in the WTF stage now.
  • Tents….oh dear, I didn’t check in that bag for the critter!!!!  I may have to just throw those out without even looking.
  • Seven pairs of shoes I haven’t worn since I moved in….perhaps I could get rid of those??

It just hit me.  I’M A HOARDER!!!!!  Holy crap, my friends are going to call that show and turn me in.  I need therapy, counseling, perhaps hospitalization!

I gotta go, I have some cleaning out to do before I’m writing stories from the big house……or whatever house they put me in.

Before Technology

What did we do before so much technology?  In my opinion, we had more fun, we weren’t scared our ‘fun’ would be plastered all over for the world to see.  It’s one thing to have a moment of embarrassment when your friends bring it up but it’s another thing to be constantly reminded of it because it’s on everyone’s phone, posted on Facebook or God forbid, on YouTube.

I recently got together with a longtime friend and as always, we reminisced, and we laughed and laughed a lot.  There were no cell phone pictures to pull up, there were no cell phone videos to show, there were no Facebook posts or pictures to find and there were no YouTube videos to watch.  It was just us remembering the events and laughing.  We had to tell the stories, we had to actually dig in our memory banks.  Parts one of us forgot and parts one of us remembered more.  That’s why I wrote The Birthday Tribute, it brought those memories back to the forefront, plus some memories I may never share…..wouldn’t want to ruin my reputation.

Obviously we had cameras and video cameras back then but that meant we had to remember to bring them with us.  If we did remember our camera then we had to actually go and get the film developed.  Hard to say how many undeveloped films are in boxes or junk drawers.  If someone did have a video camera, good luck wanting to bring it, they were the size of a microwave and not quite so easy to use.  The moment is what we lived for, not the proof of the moment.

There is a video tape floating around of a couple of us skinny dipping in the early 90’s at a Holiday Inn.  I sure hope that’s lost in a junk drawer or box somewhere and doesn’t suddenly show up online.  Only a handful of us actually saw it.  I’ll have to completely embarrass myself and write about that soon.  But I digress.

People have very few secrets now.  Back in the day (whenever that might have been), word of mouth is how we planned parties.  Now, people post it on Facebook, send text messages or emails.  The youth of today wonder why parties get busted.  Duh, they have no idea who is reading those messages, parents do still monitor phones and computers and they’re friends with their kids on Facebook.  They’re basically telling on themselves.  They’re even posting pictures of themselves online for everyone to see, including colleges, jobs and potential dates.  Nothing is sacred anymore.  I’m so thankful we didn’t have all that when I was in school.  I wouldn’t have gotten into college, got a job or ever found a date.   Certain stories should be shared after you make your own impression and certain stories should never be shared.

We also had to actually speak to people, have conversations with friends and family.  No email, no text messaging, etc.  You pretty much had to say it to someone’s face, unless of course you wanted to pass them a note, which of course was dangerous because someone else might see.  That’s one thing I’m thankful for with Idaho, he doesn’t have texting on his phone and doesn’t have a computer.  We actually have to talk to each other, weird, I know.  I thoroughly enjoy that part of our relationship though…..shocking that I like to talk, isn’t it?

There’s times I’m thankful for technology and there’s times I curse it.  One of my favorite things is to reminisce about events we experienced and lived through.  But, my favorite thing, is to never mention those events I don’t want anyone to know about.

A Birthday Tribute

Since I started this blog, I’ve been thinking about what stories from the past (more than 10 years ago) should I write about.  Could I remember the details, could I really get across how funny and fun each particular event really was and would I offend anyone?  Well, this will be the first test.

There’s two reasons I finally decided to take the plunge, 1. a conversation with a longtime friend over the holidays and 2. the 13th anniversary of this 30th birthday party will be in two days.

The year was 1999 and 30 was a big deal, one of those milestones you never thought you’d reach and if you did reach it life had to be about over.  I was divorced and living with a single mom and her daughter.  It was a time in our lives where we were figuring out what we wanted to do and where we wanted to be.  Both of us adventurous enough to make us dangerous.  Oh, those were the days.

This is about her surprise 30th birthday party.  I even dug the album out that has photos of the party tonight, laughing hysterically because I had forgotten some things and also because there are pictures of people who I can’t remember!!!  This particular party took planning and teamwork by many.  One I remember fondly.

The highlights:

  • Happy hour after work in downtown Minneapolis – nothing special, normal place, normal time with hot bartenders.
  • A white limousine waiting for us outside.  This was especially good.  Our joke when we saw a limo was to say “oh, our limo is here”.  Which is exactly what we said when we walked out of happy hour.   She was pleasantly surprised it really was ours this time.  Eats, soda, beer and champagne waited for us.
  • A trip to ‘our bar’ to be sure everyone knew she was over the hill.
  • A stop on the way back to Minneapolis to pick up her daughter who was thrilled with the limo ride as well.
  • Gifts such as: a mini Etch-A-Sketch, a bra for saggy breasts, name tags for all of us with names like Harry Krack and Buster Hyman, a blow up doll and other unmentionables.
  • A reserved room at a downtown bar where one of our favorite bands was playing so they could celebrate the milestone with us and get rowdy.
  • Her family from out of town came to see how crazy we were.
  • Excessive laughter and drinks with good friends.

The funniest part of the night was the ride home.  We had a sober driver (the longtime friend I chatted with over the holidays, poor girl).  The birthday girl and I were sitting in the back seat, probably not being the quiet, cooperative passengers we should have been.

We claimed we needed Burger King at 2:00 AM so she pulled into the drive-thru.  I’m not sure about anyone else but at that time of the night after a long day everything on the menu looks good.  I think the conversation in the back seat went something like this:
Me: “Doesn’t a Whopper Jr. sound great?”
Her:  “Oh, yeah, yeah, we’ll have two of those.”
Me:  “What about those Rodeo Burgers, the ones with the onion ring on it?”
Her: “Ohhhh, we better have those too, and some onion rings, order onion rings.”
Me:  “Fries! We have to have fries, don’t forget the fries!”
Me:  “And a shake, oh my gawd!  Doesn’t a shake sound amazing?”
And on it went for several minutes.  I’m not really sure who said or suggested what but we ordered enough for a small village.  The whole time we’re emptying our pockets and throwing money in the front seat.  I believe she tried to tell us several times that she had more than enough money but we weren’t listening.  To this day she tells us it was a nice tip for having to put up with us.  I imagine the bill was well over twenty bucks and we probably gave her fifty or more.

It was a night to remember with a few photographs lingering.  No YouTube videos, no cell phone pictures or videos (thank goodness), only memories to share when we see each other or in emails and texts.  I wish I was as good back then about writing down details as I am now.

2011 A Look Back

WordPress is really on the ball.  I received my blog stats for the year last night, not that they’re anything to brag about, but I received them.  This is the first thing it said:

“A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 2,800 times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 47 trips to carry that many people.”

Here in Wisconsin, we’d try to fit all 2,800 of those people on one cable car and a beer cooler for each.  Sounds like the ultimate road trip.  There’s even a designated driver.  Woohoo.

Let me say thank you for that many views.  You 15 people who read this are really dedicated!!  (Yes, I realize there’s more that read this than that.)  Either way, I do appreciate the readership.  Recently I’ve shared this with more and more people so I thought I’d do a bit of a review myself.

Several people gave me feedback on their favorite stories and I will share that list with you.  This may help newer readers find a few good ones right off the bat, it might show regulars some stories they missed and it may remind regulars of some of their favorites.

Again, thank you for reading Following Funny.  I encourage all of you to comment, press like, provide feedback and share mine and your funny stories with friends and family.  Pay funny forward.

Life is short, you may as well follow funny so it follows you.